On Joining the Military. Or: When Ideas that Seemed Really Bad In the Past Suddenly Seem Like Really Good Ones...

Yesterday, the professor of my EMT course stopped class for a good four minutes* to pay tribute (via an impromptu applause) to a couple members of the class for their dignified existences; for their service in the United States Armed Forces.

 

Four minutes: The amount of time brain cells can last without a constant supply of 

oxygen before becoming severely damaged.

Two years ago, I would have covered my eyes in shame for such hawkish propaganda. For encouraging a system that has sent so many of our nation's boys to early deaths for ideals that probably have more to do with big business interests than with notions of "honor" or "glory."

But this time I didn't feel that way. I only had a pang of jealousy, and a brief, crippling notion that my life would always have a sense of incompleteness until I donned a uniform and earned some of that tangible respect. I mean, let's face it, people may have celebrated out of courtesy for you at your college graduation, but no one really cares about your Liberal Arts degree in English. No one stops class to give you a round of applause.

  

Unless you're Robin Williams.

But it goes deeper than that: I've always carried a notion with me that one can not be truly human without coming to terms with one of its most played-out scenarios: war. To be a soldier seems to me an essential part of life. To stand up for yourself and your country. To seek an almost inhuman amount of physical and mental discipline. To experience a level of belonging and community that unites only those who prepare to fight for one another.

Oddly enough, these are the very things I told my brother not to consider when he signed up for the Marines last month. Ideals get quickly dashed in the muck of Reality. Especially when you have to wake up at 5 in the morning to jog in circles. But something of the attraction still remains for me: that aspect of overcoming adversity, that dedication to something greater than yourself, that decision to test your own limits, maybe even--dare I even say it--that sense of pride. Those really are the badges that I want to look back on my life and have.

And, to be honest, I'm starting to wonder if the U.S. Armed Forces might be a grueling, grizzly way to finally achieve that sense of accomplishment that has always eluded me. I haven't come across it yet. That challenging task and environment to dedicate my energy toward.

 

Like catching eagles with anchors.

And maybe, in this post-college greyness that's swept up my life in the past two years, that's exactly what I need.